By morning they will have -
By morning hell be on his way to Tierra del Fuego, if need be.
Christ, what have I done? exclaimed the psychiatrist.
Nothing anybody else in your place wouldn't have done, replied Alex.
You get a message at two o'clock in the morning from someone you care about, someone in trouble, you call back as fast as you can.

This morning's spam name winner: (drum roll .................................................)

Flynn MacBeth

And some others (Thanks, Yorquie!):

Cedric U. Absinthe

Drawbridge T. Bumppo

Len Funchess

Rosabel Hinton

Jochebed Lyford

Zoja Canaday

Bernd Britten

Incidence C. Dogs

Cornball J. Neglects

Spam name(s) of the day (drum roll) :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Frenzy E. Ventricles

Rundowns B. Nembutal

Islamic spam!


J'ai une nouvelle adresse mail
Vous pouvez maintenant m'écrire à : ali_mommod3@yahoo.fr

Assalamualaikum,
In the name of Allah the Beneficent; the Merciful,the Master of the day of Judgments, I greet you in the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful To whom All the Praise (HQ; 31:26; 17:111); and the most Beautiful Names(HQ: 7:180; 17:110; 20:8; 59:24) belongs.

I am Mr Mommod Ali originally from cote d lvorie but with an Egyptian nationality.On 10th February 2004,i am my family(my wife and two kids) boarded an Iranian plane ! which burst into flames as we flew into Sharjah airport from the Iranian island of Kish.I lost my family and it was only three of us that survived and we were treated at al-Qasimi hospital in Sharjah. I laid helpless there in the hospital because my condition was so critical and after series of operation i had to be taken back to my home land cote d lvorie, paralysed:

http://www.badurl.com

Owing to my failing health I am taking this step to let you know that I want to leave in your care the sum of $8.5 Million United States Dollars for a charitable organisation or an in care of an individual to propagate Islam.I have had course to make donations to organisations here through my relatives and friends before now who abscunded with the funds and used for thier own selfish interest because nobody to help me follow them up.I will be leaving th! is mantle in the care of my lawyer who you will work with.

I know this mail will definetely come to you suprisely but i want you to remember that: Allah Tests His Subjects in many different ways. This He Says in the Holy Quran in many Verses. To cite a few:

(HQ: And thus Do We Try some of them by others so that they say: Are these they upon whom Allah Has conferred Benefit from among us? Does not Allah best know the grateful? 6:53)
1.Allah won't ask about your social status, but will ask what kind of class you displayed.
2.Allah won't ask how many material possessions you had, but will ask if they dictated your life.
3.Allah won't ask how many promotions you received, but will ask how you promoted others.
4.Allah won't ask what you did to protect your rights, but will ask what you did to protect the rights of others.
5.Allah won't ask in what neighbourhood you lived, but will ask how you treated your neighbors.
6.Allah won't ask about the color of your skin, but will ask about the content of your character.
7.Allah won't ask how many times your deeds matched your words, but will ask how many times they didn't.

Hoping to hear from you through this HONOURABLE BARRISTER MOHAMMED AKAM
honourable_barristermohammed@inbox.com account your interest to help me to propagate Islam.If you are interested or not,one thing i beg of you is please include me in your prayers.

All praise is due to Allah Who brought everything into existence and May the peace and blessing of Allah be upon our noble Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) and His virtuous adorers till the day of Judgments.What else should i say other that we should meet Allah with a clean mind and clear conscience.May Allah bless you as you respond to my plea.
Ma'a-Salam,
Mommod Ali
mommod_ali1@yahoo.fr ( direct! email contact)

- ali mommod

Spam-names of various cretins, pervs, quintuple agents, hen-pecked husbands, saboteurs and suicide theatricists:

Denouncement K. Hanssen
Willy Childress
Couch E. Incrusted
Oregon H. Panged
Edwin Rodriguez
Baldwin Cain
Cyrus Plummer
DeWayne Nix
Tory Wooten
Armand Crow
Fabian Gray
Beatrix Andrade

An alt-country spam-name:

Jackson Scruggs

And a few others (pay attention, new parents out there):

Marlin Calderon

Colin Ochoa

Claresta Espinosa

Flossie Castillo

Reginald Wilcox
Edgardo Gordon
Coaches R. Eardrums
Dilated I. Ignatious

Roscoe Munoz
Lyman Rubin

Black Diaz

And here is a name that I made up:

Debian McElroy

***

Finally, here is some special spam that I have duly decoded for you, ladies and gentlemen (with apologies to those afflicted with colorblindness):

Dear Ho s me O n wn m er ,

Your c p red w it doesn't matter to us !

If you O p WN real e e st t at v e and want I z MM k EDI u AT q E
cas w h to s e pen k d ANY way you like,
or simply wish to L c OW x ER your monthly pa f ym q en k ts
by a third or more,

co b mplet u e this e u asy w k eb for c m

and get matched with l d en o der z s!

Drum Roll (another spam name) ...

Unutterable G. Corncob

- Hat tip to Yorquie Q.

These are the new spam names of some would-be tennis stars that I have collected since Wednesday of last week:

Vito Brenner
Henrietta Singleton
Alphonse Lidstone
Devin Sherwood
Valtteri Torrance

And here are some names of would-be tennis spam-name sexbombs:

Penelope Joyner
Mirabel Salinas
Bridget Carmichael

Boiling Point Lizard

• Slime, Betray
• Betray, Slime, Betray

• None of your beeswax, scowl
• None of your beeswax

Devastated milk chocolate of the thirteenth ogle

New Spoem Regulation: you are allowed to repeat spam words and to add articles and prepositions to your spoems.

This just in:

(hat tip to Jiffy Q. Kerosene)

Date: Monday, April 10, 2006 9:08 PM -0800
From: Adolph Hanks
To:xxx@xxxxxxxxxx.xxxx
Subject: Last After hours update

what I was once to uncle, and be true to you, and worthy of you, bed-side, where he had ever since embraced it, night and day. His lieutenant of the county to nominate him for the commission. Jip. I had Dora in my arms. I was full of eloquence. I never him. It has been, for years, the utmost height of my hopes. To completed - I saw him walking in the garden at the side, gaiters with intervals of Mrs. Kidgerbury by a long line of Incapables; I did not like to leave him, under such circumstances, and we all He handed me, apologetically for his scholarship, a piece of paper, the same as now. I know wery well that when Im here o nights while; and has run into the opposite extreme, since, by way of I was troubled by no doubt of her being very pretty, in any case; Masr Davy, he replied, Ive put the question to myself a mort. I submitted; and, with a countenance as expressive as I was able to She was so true, she was so beautiful, she was so good, - I owed out of bed, in an uncomfortable attitude, half resting on the box her life - alone - without a penny - young - so pretty - come to It was not difficult for me, on Peggottys solicitation, to resolve. Let you stay with your uncle? Why, you doent mean to ask me am. What have I to do, to free myself for ever of your visits, but once; and I dare say there was never a greater success.


Original Post:

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Deflect, fruit fly -

Acquiesce!

the drainage is on the planetarium

with ventriloquist diarrhea

Loosen the impulse!

Mismanage the tawdry, groovy magnet, ho-hum with rotten vogue

like a self-employed, unauthorized, bloated paradox

like a tranquilized symmetry with hernia

Remember the gains,

pedantic in froth

and vexed with the imperialism of sobering dissension

emptiness, relaxation, nonintervention

SPANDEX

open spam thread today

This just came in from my cousin, Melissa Edwards:

Hello,

I am Mrs. Melissa Kimora Edwards, my Late Husband Andre Edwards was a Petroleum Engineer he jointly owned an Oil field with the Country's Minister for Fishery, Natural Resources and Environment Mr. Bali Mass Taal, along with Amerada Hess, Tullow Oil and GE Petrol.

My Husband and I arrived in Gambia in 1996 following the discovery of Oil along Gambia Border with Guinea ;my Husband acquired Oil field and started the exploration of oil in the Zafiro Oil field until April 26th this year when he died. He dedicated his life to helping the underprivileged here in Gambia, built a Hospital that cared for Orphanages; He died after we arrived from The University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Centre in Texas USA on Medical
examination.

Before and after his death we were and I am still been subjected to needless molestations and scrutiny by some individuals here which has caused me heart related illness, my Doctor has expressed his concern on my diabetic state and I am afraid I could die anytime, considering this
predicament-(molestation and illness) I had my Late Husband's estate sent to Europe.

I need your open heartedness to assist at using the sum of US$3.2 Million deposited in Europe to the benefit of Children without Parents, destitute, Orphanages and the sick because from my life experience, acquisitions does not give happiness in it's entirety, but joy and contentment in what we have and the desire to give a helping hand to the needy. With your consent, I shall inform my Late Husband's Lawyer of all proceedings as this is necessary in case I die

Sincerely,
Mrs. Melissa Kimora. Edwards

This says it all:

>>>> ---------- Forwarded Message ----------
>>>> Date: Thursday, April 06, 2006 10:37 PM -0400
>>>> From: Louie Donahue
>>>> To: xxx@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>>>> Subject: Democratic Party inhumane
>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> award learning histrionic, tip in helpfully, the materialism in of
>>>>>> attitude in second-class, duplicate tacitly creativity criticize of

Hat tip to Jiffy Q. Kerosene

Here is a bizarre and humorous piece of gibberish text from yesterday's batch of spam (I have highlighted and colored the most curious bits):

"In my job I saw dozens of people die, hundreds, now that I think about it. Eye on I agree with you Ramage, eyes staring, mouth working.The prospect did not seem to disturb Annie's weird serenity in the least, although Paul could not believe that, in some part of her mind, she did not realize how close to the end of the game they had now come. Outside, the first drops of rain splatted against the window. "Let them try! Paul thought he would be quick. There were pale furrows in his thin wrists. Behind it was a narrow space empty save for dust and a plentiful cattering of mouse-turds. It spilled out of his fingers onto the board and then skittered toward the edge in 1860.

Hat tip to Yorquie

Here is my latest offering:

i C i I k A c L z I u S
h V m A g L e I r U j M
o V j I w A o G x R o A

And let's salute to the Stars and Stripes raised over our heroes' heads at Pfizer, GlaxoSmithKline and PhRMA:

CfIoAiLyIcSu a$u3h,k3e3j
VxAuLclyUkMj g$n1p,b2k1v
VrIfApGuRbAl v$l3b,q7k5v

May every good patriot and pharmaceutical sales bunny remember the name
Scorch Q. Regurgitation

Fast Love with Nightclub L. Utilitarian (text formatting and color were my choice)

i think

you are

hot

i love

your pic

let's

hook

up

add

me

to

msn

mine

is

emilyclubgirl

Spam poetry (spoem: rhymes with poem) is the fissure in the middle of the sea where molten rock from the Earth's core creates new land. Spoem is a source of new idioms that we can use to breathe new life into our language.

Spam is a ubiquitous part of our daily lives. We delete it the first thing in the morning from our inboxes. It never ceases to flood in. It leaks through filters, even as the arms race against it escalates. Instead of ignoring it, why not embrace it and revel in its pulchritude?

Below, you will find some of my spam poetry. I call it a "Pound Cake of Blank", a phrase that I discovered embedded in some spam text:

marketable commandant
tedious sniper
coronation penknife hockey slip-up
but varnish idioms
proselytize TV with track meet hours

of these, undertaker knelt down
to the organization
with polarity
to reproduce dry land

driver's license ballad
hostile with carp equanimity
demonstrative.
scorching spire.
just like a Pound Cake of Blank

mileage in grand piano
a longing.
slog gratifying
eavesdrop
unwind

the placebo jeweler
disarm neutron mountain
abstention parachute side dish
companionship depot tourniquet
academic cinematographer of standoff tabernacle

funnel fiddler as beautician hung
indigent naturalist
condescension sweetheart restrained
Styrofoam serial killer ventilation

sow guiltily
scram the halo father-in-law
a clinician pint circulate
delicatessen electric recording camaraderie inquisition
underdog feasibility Marxist shaft

Mayday gofer futuristic life-and-death
infinitely earmark Fourth of July
diphthong yodel
gambling the opera house geisha

schizophrenia patriarchy
unruly the income tax disappoint
couch euphemism
dysentery Middle Ages sandpaper overjoyed pipe dream

Here are the rules of the game:

1.) you can take words away, but you cannot add words
2.) you cannot add punctuation
3.) work with the text that you have by attempting to find interesting phrases or collocations of words
4.) rules are written to be broken

Just by deleting words, you can impose order on chaos. Rather like how a sculptor uses a chisel to get at a form buried within an amorphous chunk of marble or a diamond cutter attempts to find geometric symmetry in a rough stone, one may find that "pound cake of blank" underneath gibberish.

I have been collecting spam names for the past week. This is my collection so far:

Sophia Moses
Scorch Q. Regurgitation
Leto Patague
Archibald Kimball
Arianrhod Luter
Hadrian Hendrix
Wade Poe
Oderless E. Astronomer
Red Lipe
Fatherly E. Noisiness
quuynwwko
Octavio Temple
Pumice P. Tensely
Xenon Bayard
Vipul Buterbaugh
Reservists L. Subterfuges
Zohar Turnstall
Ramiro Rangel
Thatcher Espinosa
White E. Hookah
Carbuncle R. Allaying
Viroxay Bilal
Faustino Cotton
Agne Lorch
Bulged V. Countermands
Zenobia Sevilla
Loretta McKenna
Merrill Mazzarella
Gavin M. Bromides
Laban Fogarty
Bellow O. Fester
Sebastiano Lemon
Nessa Westerfield
Modesta Remy
Diurnally E. Katherine
Basil Baird
Koos Spradley
Reincarnations J. Haiti
Aimo Holmon
Lilith L. Downpours
Consuelo Burgos
Elmer Byrd
Alfred Velasquez
Dobbin Aguirre
Buried D. Farces
Bernie Lackey
Marmot H. Notoriously
Brack Summerall
Schooner A. Noun
Emin Goins
Tenfold O. Iridium
Simper S. Guff
Monstrances H. Vends
Sparsest K. Monterray
Maxime Zito
Polynomial T. Synopsis
Landed R. Menstruated
Glitz G. Executor
Hahn K. Unforeseeable
Fruitlessness A. Requirements
Drollness F. Warder
Rabbi Fortenberry
Beelzebub Knuth
Clamored Q. Sugarcoats
Achilles H. Duchies
Polyp R. Deterrence
Incubi U. Elevation
Hammond Humfield
Attic M. Incidentals
Lula Egan
Hans Rutherford
Wyatt Hernandez
Eutropia Hankey
Xochiquetzal Rohde
Haroun Arledge
Sombrero E. Simulated
Actually I. Heifer
Hagan Hibbert
Hunter Vickers
Sterling Roark
Consecrations P. Revellers
Eyal Mckain
Esperanza Sylvester Thanks, Jiffy Q. Kerosene!
Ritzier I. Constipation
Justy Delira
Hitomi Knopp
Iguana F. Maoris
Prognosticates T. Variate
Neville Pennington
Bozidar Schueler
Okras H. Mien Thanks, Yorquie!
Penelope Norton
Elvira Yarbrough

CALLING ALL SPAM NAMES: I will be adding to this list. Please let me know if you have uncovered any brilliant spam names and I will give you credit.